Ramble shamble, schedule gamble?

 Sidenote - the previous entry was my 100th entry! And I forgot to celebrate. Damn it.


So, I've officially turned my days around. I'm staying up late and sleeping half the day away, which is, you know, not a good thing. I'm not entirely sure how this happened, but I'm guessing it's a combo of struggling to pull my life together, my period hitting a week earlier than it was supposed to, and the fucking weather going apeshit on us.

About the life thing, I realized that pulling it together is a lot harder when you let it fall completely apart before you start pulling. Not that it's my actual life that needs some pulling, cause the life around me is doing well. It's, you know, my inside that fell apart. I fell apart, and thus everything else fell apart as well. And I'm strugling really bad in my attempt to pull things together, and failing miserably. But, another thing I realized is one of the reasons for why I'm failing. How can I pull my life together, when I'm not even sure how I want my life to be?

So, yeah, I realized that I suddenly don't know what to do with my life.
That was a strange and horrible realization.

I mean, I thought I had that one all figured out, but turns out I was wrong. And I'm not thinking life on a larger scale, but more on a smaller, daily scale. What do I want to do with my days? I'm not really sure, actually. I know I want to dedicate this year to my work, but I'm not sure how. And how to make a functional schedule for my days. Well, that's a problem.

And I need to tackle that problem before I do anything else.


A while back, my sister told me about this site where she had ordered a custom made dayplanner, and I decided to have a go at that. One of the reasons for why I don't use dayplanners is that I can't ever find one that fits my taste, but this site let me completely design it myself, which was pretty awesome. It arrived in the mail yesterday, and it's looking really good. And now I'm thinking I should make proper use of it by using it to put together a weekly schedule for me.

But before I start going by that schedule, I really should try and pull my head together. I'm in a dump, mentally, and I can't seem to get out of it. I've gone back to not wanting to leave the apartment, and I just can't handle having people around me. Not sure how to fix this issue. Now I kind of miss having someone in my life. Actually, I miss my Bluebird, cause she's my best friend, and I'm pretty sure she'd manage to drag me out of my dump. I mean, showing up at my door and dragging me out to socialize is a nice thought - and what most people would do - but being the introvert that I am with the issues I have, that doesn't really work well with me. Mainly, the leaving the apartment part won't work well. But I'm sure Bluebird would've figured out something good that would work, and then she'd show up and help me work my way out of this dump.

She understands the workings of my brain, she's very respectful of my issues, and, most importantly, she's very familiar with my work, and she's very supportive of it. I'm pretty certain she'd find some way of using my work to drag me out of my dump. Cause, you know, my work usually is what saves me whenever I need to be saved.


But, yeah, mental issues aside, I'm gonna start putting together that weekly schedule of mine that I'm gonna (hopefully) be living by when February is over. This is, roughly, what I've got so far.

Monday
This used to be 2nd Saturday with Candy, but now I'm not sure what I want to do with the day. My immediate idea is Battle Plan Monday, where I sit down and make my battle plan for the rest of the week, and just generally prepare myself for whatever's planned for that week. Need to sit down and work more on this one, cause this is by far the most troublesome day of the week.

Tuseday
The official BroSis Tuesday where my brother comes over to play games and have fun, since he's got a short school day that day. I am not changing that for anything in the world, so it's still gonna stay as BroSis Tuesday. Though I still need to figure out what to do with the time of the day before and after my brother has been here.

Wednesday
Used to be Date Day with Mum, and we do plan on going back to doing that, but we're gonna wait a bit due to winter being a bitch and stuff. But yeah, I want to keep on having those Date Days where I go down to mum's, have dinner with them, and then me and mum sit and watch whatever seriers we're working our way through at the moment. But that's in the afternoon, so I still need to make decent plans for the earlier parts of the day.

Tuesday
My empty day. It's been empty for a while, with no real plans attached to it, so I'm considering using it as a full on work day. You know, just spending the entire day working on whatever it is I'm working on at the moment, and just ignore everything else. Still not sure about that though, so I need to give it some more thought.

Friday
Grocery shopping day, and my personal ME day. On Fridays I go grocery shopping with my parents, which has been tradition for aaages now, and that's not gonna change. And then, in the evenings, I have my ME time where I just sit and game and relax the entire evening. I don't think I'm gonna put anything else in there, to be honest, cause I like this day just the way that it is.

Saturday
Social day! Yeah, the one day of the week where I like being social, lol. Me and mum often go to town on Saturdays, which I really enjoy, and Saturday evenings is usually a good time to go out and party or meet friends. I'mma kick that up again, and try to get back into the social life once more, using Saturdays as the day for that. I also want to have one Saturday every month where I invite people over for Board Game Night! I've had that idea for a while, and this year I want to have a go at that. And then at least ONE Saturday of going out drinking. The other two..? Still haven't decided, so we'll see.

Sunday
Relaxation day. And recharge day. And it's also the day of the week where my family often invites me down for family dinner, which is something I enjoy. I think I'm mainly just going to let Sunday stay a recharge and relaxation day where I mainly stay at home and just take it easy, soak up the week that was, and gather the energy I need to face yet another week.


So, you see, I do have some half-baked plans for what I want to do with my weekly schedules, but I want to have more than just half-baked ones. I want a proper schedule, that goes by the clock as well. Which would include my plan of trying to get up at around 9 AM in the morning, so I actually have time to do the things on my schedule, AND going to bed at a decent hour. I had a good schedule on that a while ago, where I quit whatever I was doing at 22:00 PM - be it gaming or working - and then just spendt an hour catching up on internet stuffs before I got ready to go to bed at around 23:00 PM. My goal was to be in bed before midnight, and hopefully on my way to dreamland, and for a while that worked really well, and I managed to get up early in the mornings.

I need to try and work my way back to that, cause it's a good schedule to go by.

And I also need to set up proper work hours. Right now I'm doing random work on random things at random hours, which isn't really all that great. Sure, I get things done, but it's slow-going and chaotic. And if I am to stick to my plans and reach my goals for this year, I really need to organize my work a bit better. So, yeah, an actual work schedule would do me good, and then I'd have to be really strict and stick to that schedule, no matter what. Maybe that'll give some more purpose to my days, and it'll help me feel like I'm achieving something, which would do me a lot of good, mentally speaking.

Also, I need to learn to try and stick to working on one thing at a time, though that's gonna be really hard. I'm a very spaztic artist, and my inspiration is pretty much ADHDing 99% of the time, so I tend to jump back and forth with things I'm working on. I should try and re-program my brain on that area, cause that's the main reason for why I never manage to complete things. I work on something, then my brain spazzes and I start doing something else, and what I started on gets put aside and forgotten. It's problematic, and I need to try and find a way around that.

I like this new approach to my work on my companions that I'm having these days. Just focusing on one at a time, trying to get a good overview of it and putting things in order, is a good way to work. It helps me see them better for who they really are, which is, you know, something I failed to do in the past. I'm still focusing my energy on Liz - which is good, considering how she's my dearest and most important companion - and I'm gonna keep doing that up until I feel like I've got everything I need on her. And then I'll move on to the next one. So, yeah.

The only thing sidetracking me there is the Clavis Triplets. They surfaced a while ago, and they demand a lot of attention from me, and I do have a plan of making a manga about them, but I'm still working on a plan for that. So I really should be putting them on hold, which is hard. They are very demanding, and also very interesting, so it's hard not to focus all of my work around them.

Ugh!

I HAD a plan for my work. A list I was going to go by, and I was pleased with that list, but now it's gone. So much for that plan. I swear, my attention span is horrible, and my brain isn't helping on that area.

I think my main point of all this rambling is that I need a battle plan.

A BATTLE PLAN!

So I need to sit down and make one, and them I'mma stick to it. No matter what. Yeah.

Good plan, that.

I think.