Elsa's love life

Yes, Elsa from Disney's Frozen. Yes, this is a blog rant about her.
You've been warned.

So, I've noticed that there's a thing going on (that has flewn past me for quite a while because I'm a scatterbrain that don't pay attention to the world) all over the interwebs, regarding Elsa and her love life. The gist of it being? Give Elsa a girlfriend. And there's a lot of discussions regarding this, with all sorts of opinions and viewpoints - some pretty harsh, I've seen - and I want to place my two cents on the table.
(I'm not saying that I am in any way RIGHT and that my viewpoint is the best one, but I am saying that this is MY viewpoint, and my personal opinion in the matter.)

Now, we're gonna put my own sexuality to the side in all this, because it's not important. Yes, I'm pansexual, but that's besides the point. No, my two main points in this little "rant" is:
1: Disney, and
2: Strong, Independent Woman.

First of all, Disney. We all know Disney, and what their deal is. They're all about the Happily Ever After - always have been, always will be - and love and romance, cause that's just their THING. Hell, look at The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Quasimodo didn't get the girl in the original movie, and he ended up all alone. Couldn't have that, could we? No, He needs a Happily Ever After, just like everyone else, and so they made the sequel and gave him a girlfriend. Because everyone deserves love - even a hunchback orphan locked away in a cathedral. So, a beautiful and powerful queen with ice powers? OF COURSE they're gonna give her someone. Because they're Disney, and that's that. No matter if we want it or not, she's gonna get someone, and arguing won't help. It's DISNEY.

Moving on to the Strong and Independent Woman thing. Because that's what Elsa is. She's a symbol of strength and independence, and the fact that you don't need no man to be a fucking queen. You rule just fine on your own. And yes, I support that all the way! Elsa is kickass! She's fierce, tough, sweet and kind, and above all else she shows that even on your own you can do just fine. You don't NEED romance in your life.
Does this mean you don't deserve it either?
Because, my dear lovlies all fighting for Elsa to stay single, strong, and independent, that's the signal that is giving off. I know you don't mean for it to do, but it does. Does being Strong and Independent mean that you have to be alone? Does it mean that only all alone can you be the kickass queen you're made to be?

Elsa being a symbol of independence is a great thing, and a thing I wholeheartedly support, and I love the fact that the movie made it clear that she didn't need anyone to be the strong queen that she is. We can all do just fine on our own! But why does independence have to mean loneliness? Because, in the end, that's what people tend to see. "Oh, she's so strong and cool, and independent, but that's because she's alone." Because you can't be a strong and independent woman if you're in a relationship, right?

Wrong.

Disney is going to make a sequel - Frozen was too popular not to - and when they do then they are most likely going to give her a love interest. Because she, like everyone else, deserves a "Happy Ending." And if that sequel happens, then I agree with that decision. Everyone deserves to find happiness - to find love. So insisting that Elsa stays single is, quite literally, saying that she doesn't get to have love in her life because she's too strong. Unfair, much? Not to mention cruel...

Now, let's get personal. For me, I really do identify a lot with Elsa. Not personality-wise - oh, no, there I identify a whole lot more with Anna in every possible way - but when it comes to being different. An outcast. Having to hold things in, and not being allowed to show who you are. Only being able to "Let it go" and be myself when I am all alone and alienated from the rest of the world. Oh, that I do identify with. My heart goes out to Elsa, because she represents so many of the things I've struggled with myself, and in the world of Disney I've yet to find a character that I feel is more "me" than her. And I want to be the strong and independent woman that she is - no, scratch that, I AM that woman. I am on my own, and I do just fine on my own! I don't NEED anyone in my life to be the strong person that I am, just like Elsa. But that doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my life alone. I, too, want that Happily Ever After. I want love. I want someone to spend the rest of my life with. And, because of that, I want Elsa to have that as well. We BOTH deserve it.

You can be strong, you can be independent, you can be kickass, and still be with someone. Saying otherwise really sends the wrong signals, my dears. And that, everyone, is why I think Elsa should be allowed to find someone. She should show kids that even though you're a strong, kickass queen, you can still find someone to love - and someone to love YOU.

I want Elsa to still stay the symbol of strength and independence that she is today, to show everyone that you don't NEED anyone else to be a queen (or a king). But I want her to, on top of that, be a symbol that shows that you can still be that person even if you're sharing your life with someone. That you don't have to give up yourself for the sake of love. You can still be YOU, and have someone love that you. You don't have to be "weak" to be loved.

Okay, that out of the way, what about the girlfriend thing?

To be honest, that thought didn't even occurr to me until I read it online. I mean, I care very little for gender, so I don't care if she's married to a man or a woman, or something inbetween - or neither. Love knows no gender, and the only thing I care about is that she's happy. But, okay, if we're going to choose? Well, I'm gonna go with the Disney arguement. They're big on stereotypes! That's just how it is. It's a part of their thing.

Stereotype man? Big, strong, dominant. Stereotype woman? Smaller, weaker, submissive. What is Elsa? A strong, dominant woman! Oh, a bit of a stereotype breaking there. If they match her up with a man? Her image will magically turn from a dominant queen to a submissive wife, because she's with someone that'll take the dominent image for their own. That's how it'll go, unfortunately, unless they match her up with a sissy of a man, which, in turn, would be horribly wrong as well. Nothing wrong with being a sissy man, of course - hell, they can be cute as fuck - but having Elsa dominate one would just send some rather nasty signals. Just saying.

So what happens when we give Elsa a girlfriend? Oh, new territory that, if used right, could send ALL the right signals.

One: Love makes you an idiot. I want to see the strong, fierce Elsa go all dork because she's crushing on someone. I want everyone to see that no matter how "high and mighty" you are, love can still have you fall facefirst on the ground like a moron - but not necessarily in a bad way! Yes, love makes you an idiot, but there's nothing wrong with that. Even strong, independent people are allowed weak moments of dorkiness. Everyone is!

Two: How many little girls out there are freaking out because they find another girl cute, but everyone else around them is telling them that it's wrong? Enter a movie where their big idol, Elsa, is falling for another woman, and is freaking out because she THINKS that it's not normal, but then she slowly learns over the course of the movie that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with her loving a woman. She thinks everyone else will freak out, but they're not, because it's not that big of a deal. Love is love. Think about how many kids - still struggling inside their little closet - that that'll help.

Because that's my main concern when entering this Elsa/love discussion.
What message it sends the kids.
What we think? Who gives a fuck - we're not the important ones. The kids are.
At least to me.

All in all?

Yes. Give Elsa a girlfriend. Let's show the world that you can be strong, fierce, and independent, and still find the love of your life - and that love can easily be someone of the same gender as you, cause that's perfectly okay.

Stop judging what you can't see

I must apologise in advance, cause this might be a bit of a whiny rant entry, but I just feel the need to unload a little frustration that's been suffocating me, because these days I feel like a lot of people around me - even my loved ones - see me as a lazy, whiny, useless piece of shit.

And it's breaking me.

It's not easy, having my life. I'm not saying I have it harder than anyone else, cause there are so many others out there that have it worse, but what I'm saying is that it ain't some walk in a park. It's tough. Really tough. The good days are good, yes, but the bad days can be so horribly bad. Most days I just want to curl up underneath my bed and cry, cause I'm so tired of living.

I have fibromyalgia, and no, I am not faking an illness just to be able to sit on my ass all day! In absolute honesty, I wish I could do anything but sit on my ass all day, because I'm not sitting here volunteerily. I am in constant pain 24/7, and I am always tired. Always exhausted. Every single little chore that you take for granted - such a silly thing as just getting up from a chair, or making dinner - is hard. It's more than just hard; on some days it can be so exhausting that it completely breaks me. Every little thing I do is way harder for me than it is for you, because of the fibromyalgia dragging me down - both physically and mentally. This makes it difficult for me to lead a normal life, and doing things such as cleaning the house or making dinner is often just too much for me to handle. Most days I go to bed hungry, because that is less exhausting than trying to make food when I can barely breathe. Imagine how you'd feel if just making yourself a slice of bread with cheese on it would make you feel like you've been fighting for your life an entire day. Can you imagine that? Because that's what it's like on my worst days, and when I'm like that I'd rather starve. And it's extra hard because I am alone in all of this. Yes, I have caring friends and family that are there for me when I need them to be, but when it all boils down to the core of things, I am all alone. I don't really have anyone to lean on, when the days get too difficult for me, and so I have to stand on my own two feet - two feet that often don't want to be standing at all. Some days, I use all of my strength and energy on just getting out of the bed and moving to my chair, because the pain and the exhaustion is weighing me down, and despite how hard that is, I still get out of that damned bed!

I'm depressed, and depression is hard - those whom have been unfortunate enough to experience it themselves know how hard it is, and how exhausting it can be. And brings with it a lot of anxiety and insecurities, and dark clouds that weigh you down. I'm fighting a constant battle with my own mind, on top of fighting my own body, and at times it's so overwhelming that I just want to disappear. With the depression and my fibromyalgia kicking me, I have days where I just want to die. I want to stop breathing, and go far, far away from life and all the pain and exhaustion. I cry, if I have the energy to do so, and I just wish I'd die. Oh, god, how I wish I could just die.

But when those days/periods come, I find ways to distract myself, either by drowning myself in my work, or by escaping into another world through gaming, because I'm still fighting. I'm not giving up. Okay, so I might end up spending an entire week doing nothing but playing Skyrim, but at least that's a whole lot better than being dead. Because those are the only options I have when the days are at their worst. Instead of giving up, instead of laying down and waiting for death, I pull myself away by focusing on something that I know keeps me distracted - and happy. I focus on every little thing that can bring a smile to my face - even the smallest and seemingly insignificant things - and I use them all as an anchor to life. A way to keep breathing, to keep living.

So please, just, PLEASE don't judge me. Please don't call me lazy. Please don't look down on me just because I am not capable of the things you are. Most days I just want to die, but I am still here, refusing to give up, and when people look down on me and call me lazy or whatever, it hurts, because you have NO idea what I go through on a daily basis - constantly battling my own mind and my own body. You have no idea how much I have to push myself just to be able to get out of bed in the morning. Every morning. The next time you feel like judging me, try imagining your life without me, cause that could've been the alternative - and it can still be. You should just be thankful that you don't have to use a god damned cane to walk, and that you don't have to hear all the comments that'd get you, or see all the looks people would give you. Be thankful you don't have to live in a home that's constant chaos, and know that most days there's nothing you can do about it so you just sit there and cry because the chaos is drowning you. Be thankful that you don't have to face the looks and the comments from all of those around you that doesn't know, doesn't understand, doesn't accept, doesn't believe. Be thankful you don't have to go around feeling like you're constantly judged, and feeling like you're all alone in the world.

Spend your energy being grateful for what you have, instead of judging others based on what they don't have.


I stay positive. I stay cheerful, and with a bright outlook on life, and I do so because it is my strength. I can smile in the face of hatred, despair, defeat, and resentment, and I keep walking onwards when I'm ready to drop dead. I fight my battles - sometimes openly, sometimes silently - and though I often stray from my path, I do my best to get back to it again so I can keep walking. I carry so much more with me than I am capable of, and yet I keep walking. I've lived through things that should've killed me, and I am still walking. I may be walking slowly, and sometimes it might seem like I'm not moving at all, but I'm taking it at a pace I can manage, to ensure that actually do manage to walk. Because no matter what, I refuse to give up.

I don't know who you are, on the inside. I don't know your thoughts and feelings, your inner struggles and achievements, but that doesn't make me think any less of you. I accept you, and I respect you, your life, and your choices. And so I expect you to do the same.

And if you can't, then I am done with you. Because I am done being judged and looked down upon. I am done trying to explain myself to people that can't understand - that won't understand. I am done adding my fight with others to the daily fights with myself, because I am tired of fighting. So if you have a problem with me, and how I live my life, then I don't want you in it.

If you can't walk along with me, then you can walk alone.
After all, that's what I've been doing most of my life, and I've gotten damned good at it.