Partystop!

I know I wrote a little bit about this just before new years, but it's such an important thing that I feel like it should have an entire entry of its own.

Partying! Something I've done a lot of, and enjoy doing, and that I am putting a full stop on this year. I've mentioned this to people, and they just can't seem to take me seriously. People keep asking me to partyparty. Yeah, I get it, you know how much I used to party, so you find it silly that I say no, and of course I should make exceptions, in your opinion.

No. Just no.

When I say that I'm having a partystop, then I mean it. My birthday is next week, and I'm not even going to celebrate it. That's how serious I am about this partystop. And I will not make exceptions unless they were ones I set last year and promised to particiapate in - and for the record, this means that the only "parties" I'll be going to is my sisters' if they have one to celebrate their birthday, since they're my sisters, and my best friend's birthday party and halloween party, because it's tradition. But that's it. No parties at all this year.

Why?

I have fibromyalgia. That in itself isn't too bad, cause with the right treatement, I can learn to live with it. But the thing is, I still haven't started any kind of treatments, so I'm in constant pain 24/7 and absolutely nothing helps in making that pain go away. I've tried all kinds of painkillers, and nothing works. Nothing! Except from vast amounts of alcohol, cause that numbs out everything. And that's just one big nope.

Sure, if I drink enough when I'm out partying, my body will go numb, and I won't be in so much pain anymore, but firstly the pain will return twice as bad the next day, and it'll stay twice as bad for more than just one day of being hung over, and secondly that's a one way ticket to alcoholism. And that's just not worth it.

Oh, yeah, why can't I just not drink alcohol when I go to a party? Because pain, that's why. Whould you go to a lively party and sit among a bunch of drunk people when you're in extreme pain and feel dead tired? I really don't think so. I definitely know I won't!

I don't say this to be mean or rude or anything like that. I love my friends, I love partying with them, and I wish to the gods above I could partyparty all year whenever they ask me to. But I just can't. My body is a mess, and I've just started a massive cleanup on it, to try and fix that mess, and going out partying and getting drunk will just make matters worse.  It's my body, my health, so it's my choice, and I think that if people care about me then they will respect that.

If I am, however, having a really, really great day, and I have a driver that can get me back and forth on a minute's notice, then sure. If it's an important party, and you want me to be there, then I can come and have a beer or two. But that's it. And only if I'm having a really, really great day. And then please don't ask me to stay longer if I say I want to go, cause then you're just exhausting me.
Just remember that I never know if I'll have a good day or not, so I can't give any notice in advance. And even if I'm having a good day, the smallest things can easily turn the day around for me, and suddenly make me feel like crap. I have absolutely no control over it whatsoever! And that's the honest truth.

I appreciate the invites. They mean a lot to me, cause it tells me that you like me and want me there. And yes, if whatever's in control of my pain allows it and things work out, then I might show up. Just, please, don't nag me about it. Don't demand an answer right away. And please, please, please don't be offended if I say no. It has nothing to do with you. I just have to focus on and prioritize my health. That's all there is.

But I wish all of YOU a great party-year, and I hope you have a lot of fun! Take an an extra drink or two for me, will ya?