Changes for the New Year

We're closing in on the new year now, and I feel it's time for a final blog entry. I've been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks, and I've made myself up some thoughts on things I want to get out of the new year. And what I want to change.

Now, first and foremost, I'll be changing one specific thing that is a somewhat big part of my life, and that is my partying. Now, we all know I love a good party, and if I'm in the mood then I'm not one to say no. Stumbling in the door at 6 AM in the morning, drunk as a pineapple? Yep! Been there, done that, rinse and repeat. Spending an entire day feeling hung over as fuck and feeling sorry for myself? Yep! Small price to pay for a night of fun. Doing all that when your body is in constant pain? Well... I've dealt with that the last times I've gone partying, and I don't really feel like it's worth it anymore.
My body hurts all the time, because of the idiotic Fibromyalgia, and nothing helps. Painkillers? Total waste of time. The only thing that sometimes numbs out the pain a tiny bit is a lot of alcohol, and that in itself is a huge problem. One thing is that you pay for it twice over the morning after, but most importantly; that's how you get an alcohol problem. And it's just not worth going down that road. Sure, having a couple of beers every now and then because it's weekend, or if I'm in good company, that's one thing. But drinking every day to get rid of the pain, and going out partying to try and numb it out, is something entirely different.

So, as long as my body is like this, I won't be going out partying at all. And I mean it! I'll be turning down every single party invite I get this next year, cause I know that if I go I'll end up drinking anyway. I have a few exceptions, cause I know of a couple of "parties" that I'll be going to no matter what, but aside from those then nope. No more partyparty for me. At least not until I get better. It's harsh, but that's my decision. And it's final.

Another thing I want to change is how I spend my time. I mean, so far it's totally random what I do every day, and most days I just sit in front of the computer and do abslutely nothing but curse my body. And I want to change that.

Of course, most of my focus at the beginning of the year will be on finishing my apartment, so most of my time will be spent there. I'll be working hard, every day, on trying to get things done. But the evenings and the weekends will be spent taking it easy, and watching anime and various TV series, to make sure I don't overdo it.

Once the apartment is done, things will change drastically. My time will be spent focusing on my art and my life's project, as well as my ablities, as I've already talked about in an earlier blog entry, and I'm already making plans for what kind of things I want done. I want to set myself some goals, and focus on reaching those goals by the end of the year. Since I won't be spending time partying, I'll have more time to spend on my many projects, and getting somewhere with them. One thing is that I want to try painting, but I also want to try and finish some of my writing, as well as getting better at sewing. And, I want to test the limits of my abilities and see if I can do more than just readings. I generally want to spend more time on getting better at things.

So, yeah, I plan on changing the way I never really have any control over how I spend my days. As it is now, I just get out of bed with half an idea of what I want to do, and end up just sitting in front of the computer all day. And that, I want to change. It will require a kind of schedule, but I'm determined to put together a good one that will work well for me and for my health, and that I'll try to follow the rest of the year.

I suppose that what I'm changing the most, is my attitude and my will. And in the end, those really are the most important things that needs changing if you want to change something in your life.


Thank you for the year that has been, my lovelies!
I hope you'll keep following me all through 2014 as well.
Wish you all the best for the new year, and I hope your hopes and dreams come true!

Love you all!