In love, love, love!

You know that feeling you get, when you've just fallen in love, and you're in that first fase of being in love where you're floating around on a cloud and being all giddy, and you just can't stop smiling no matter what? Yeah, that's me right now. I'm bouncing around like a giddy little school girl, and there's no doubt that I am in looooove! And I'm absolutely loving it!

Only problem is.. I'm not in love with anyone. I mean, I've been in love several times, so I know that feeling better than anything else, and I know that I'm in love right now, but I know for a fact that I'm not in love with anyone. I'm thinking of my friends and my family, and how much they all mean to me, but I don't have anyone specific in mind when I get that smile on my face. Besides my new protector, that is, but I'm not sure that counts when my protector isn't even a part of this world. I don't know.

Either way, I'm all over the place and as happy as can be! I think maybe I'm in love with life itself. Which is strange, cause I've always hated life. Or, more specifically, my life. So, being in love with life itself is extremely unusual for me. But I am enjoying it, I am! To finally be happy like this, is something I've dreamt of for years. To think that I had to lose everything that really mattered to me, to gain a happiness like this... It's just strange. And kind of painful and sad in a way. But, I suppose this was meant to be, and the few things I've learned lately is that things happen for a reason. I just got to believe in those reasons.



I think I've gotten a lot stronger lately. I am now fully free of my depression, and I even have papers on it, and my anxiety is more or less completely gone. I feel like I'm standing on my feet, even when things are rough, and it feels as though I can handle almost anything now. Sure, those sad things that pain me do come to haunt me at night, and I cry because I hate how I've lost things I loved so dearly, and how I never even manage to gain the one thing I longed for the most. And I allow myself that sadness, and to cry those tears, but I don't allow them to break me. It's okay to be sad. I have good reason to. Just as long as I don't let that sadness take over my life, like it used to. I can smile during the days now, and know that my smile is a real one. It's not something that has been painted on to fool the world, but something real that comes from within me. I am truly happy. And it feels good.


I've always done a good work on that list of mine. So I am slowly gaining a good view of all the things I want to have done within this year. It's a long list, but considering that I've got an entire year to do all the things on that list, I'm pretty pleased with it's length. This year is going to become one of the best years of my life, I am sure of it! I'll finally organize things in my life, and figure out who I truly am and what I want. And I'll finally complete several of the projects I've started on but never finished! This'll be a good year. I just know it.





This video was made by one of the most awesome people I know and one of my most trusted friends, and it has become my theme song these days, which is why I want to share it with you all!