And a new year begins

I'm a bit late in wishing you all a happy new year, but my excuse is Zelda. My brother gave me Skyward Sword for x-mas, and I've been stuck to my wii all last week. And, when I get stuck to something, I tend to stay there for a while and forget about the rest of the world. Though, I managed to beat the game in 6 days! I'm quite proud of that. Only problem is that now I have no more Zelda to play, and that makes me a bit sadfaced. I'd replay Ocarina of Time, but I realized the other day that I don't have it here! More sadface. Which means that I'll have to shift my focus on to sensible things, like house chores. Eek.



Anyway, what can I say about the new year so far? Well, not much, really. I'm still bent on sticking to my plan of fixing my life. I don't want to change myself, or anything like that, but I need to figure out who I am and organize the chaos that is me and my life. And my apartment. And, I'm going to use all of 2012 to get that done! No more rushing cause I have to be perfect, like, yesterday. I only stress myself when I set expectations like that. This is MY year, so I'm gonna take my time and focus 100% on myself. I'm gonna teach myself something I've never known how to do; accept myself for who I am, and love myself. And to do that, I'mma be selfish. Or at least try to. No more sacrificing myself for the sake of others! No more saying yes to everything cause I can't handle saying no to people cause I don't want to hurt them! And no more ignoring my own needs to satisfy the needs of others!

I just hope I can keep that up. Grow a backbone, and all that.

Either way, I'm planning on documenting it all. But not here. You know, I love this blog, and I love my readers, but I've come to realize that I'm not really honest in here. Or, well, I'm not lying or anything, but I am not writing everything. I hold a lot of things back, cause I don't want to offend anyone. And I keep from mention names, cause I don't want to point fingers. Even in my own personal blog, I tread carefully for the sake of others, and end up keeping things to myself instead of sharing them. And I doubt that'll ever change, unfortunately. So, this is why I have started on a new blog (yes, I know, I have a fetish for making new and improved blogs. Whatever.), and in there I won't be giving a damn if I'll offend anyone. I'll be as honest as can be, and write exactly how I feel and think. And I will mention names and point fingers. I'll still keep this blog, and update it whenever I feel like writing something down, and linking the entries on FB as usual. Nothing will change in here. But the new blog will be about my road to finding myself, and nothing else, and it will be updated every sunday. But I will not be linking the entries on FB or anything like that. So if any of my readers want to follow that blog, they need to remember to check in themselves. Mainly cause I'm not having that blog for the sake of my readers, but for the sake of myself. It's good to have someplace to document my progress, so that I can go back and look at it if I ever forget how far I've gotten.

This will be the first and only time I post the link to the blog, just so you know.
aratri.blogspot.com
And this links to the first entry, which is lengthy as hell. You've been warned.

These first months, the entries will be scentered around things that have been, and who I currently am. It'll be me trying to shake off things from the past, so that I can get ready to move forward. And then, after a while, I'll hopefully start writing about my progress.




Okay, now with that aside, we can go back to the regular schedule. And I have to say that I'm excited about the new year. I really hope it'll bring good things to my life, and that I can figure things out. Although, at the moment my focus is mainly on keeping myself from going into a panic state. I'm 6 days away from my birthday, and so far I've been avoiding the yearly birthday anxiety, but I can feel it poking me at the back of my head. Ugh, most of me just want to ignore the whole day. But, if I am ever to get rid of my birthday issues, then I need to face them head on and celebrate my day properly. And have a good time.
So, my plan so far, is... Since my birthday is on a sunday, I'll be going out on saturday. I think. I need to check around and see if any of my friends are available for going out with me, and then maybe have a small party at my place before going out. We'll see. But on sunday, I'm thinking a simple coffee and cakes at mum's place, and that's it. It'll be a simple, but hopefully a good, birthday. And I'm hoping I'll get more keys. I don't have nearly enough.

But, as soon as my birthday is out of the way, I'm going to start focusing on this new year, and all the exciting projects I'm going to be working on. Cause I've got a whole bunch of projects I've been planning, and I've saved them all for 2012! And I should start with the lists. Cause lists are good to have. So, making lists of all the things I want done by the end of the year, will help me get it all done. Or, that's my plan, at least.

No, you know what? I'm going to start with turning the heater up, cause my hands are almost frozen now from all this typing. It's a bit chilly here.

Anyway.. HAPPY NEW YEAR, MY LOVELIES! Let's all hope it'll bring good things.