Retreat and Regroup

I'm tired. Mentally drained.

I never knew it was this exhausting, standing on the other side.

So they sent her up north to a clinic, and I'm left behind alone in her apartment. The place is so quiet, it's kind of uncomfortable. It's like the walls themselves sense that things aren't as they should be, and refuse to give out any energy at all. And my own energy gets drained by every life-less object next to me, leaving me even more empty than this place.

It sounds way more dramatic than what it is. You know me; the drama queen.


It kind of feels like I've run into a wall of some sort. I was moving forward at such a rapid pace, and things were going so well, and somehow I missed a turn somewhere and hit a dead end with full force. Right now I'm kind of stumbling around, dazed and confused, not really sure of what has happened or what to do. I know she's somewhere out of my reach, but for the life of me I can't see why or how that came to be. My head is just spinning. Fast. And it's making me want to throw up.

What I need now is a battle strategy. Just don't ask me where I get that idea from, cause I can't really answer you there. But yeah, a battle strategy. And I need to start it all by sitting down, taking a breather, and then get oriented so I know where I am and where I missed my turn. And once I've done that, I need to think of a strategy that'll get me back on the right tracks again.

But right now, I'm going for the retreat and regroup strategy.

This week is officially my retreat week. That means I won't be all that social, so I'll try to avoid company in the form of visitors or going to town or visiting others. I need this time on my own. I need to refocus my head, and I can't do that with people around me. So I need to stay away from people for a while, just until I get back on my feet again. Cause that's how I work. Nothing personal, it's just me needing to do things in my own pace.

There's just so much going on inside my head right now, and I can't really handle getting more things stuffed inside it. And talking to people will result in more things getting stuffed inside my head. That I know.

I just need to get a proper map of my situation, so I know what to do about it.